The Reminders List

Why I decided to ink my arm with a series of small, but powerful words

I suck at lists. Usually when I make them, it’s only out of desperation. I prefer to keep everything I need to do in my head and on my phone.

At age 48, freshly laid off and searching for what was next, I got my first tattoo. Over the past decade, I’ve added several small ones, each with meaning that’s deeply personal.

One is a semi-colon, a tattoo I share with Jill and our children. My wife and I have a matching infinity symbol; I surrounded mine with four arrows representing our four kids. I also have a “25” facing outward on my forearm that marked our 25th wedding anniversary (they said it wouldn’t last). Since then, I’ve added three small plus signs  (+ + +) for each additional year.

And then there’s the list, or as I like to call it, the “reminders list.”

Ben, our son, has more than a dozen small micro tattoos, including the word “create” in the typewriter font on his torso. I liked it so much that I added it to my right wrist, facing toward me so I could see it when I looked down. I liked the power of the reminder.

In 2020, I added “be kind.” Then “always” went under “create,” which officially scrambled the alphabetization, but gave me the start of a true list. My brain is so random that I have difficulty remembering things in sequential order, and an alphabetized list felt too neat.

A couple of years ago, I added three more reminders (“extend,” “grace,” and “family”). Every morning, looking at those words serves as a small meditation moment, grounding me for the day ahead. I intentionally had periods tacked on to the end of each word, because I wanted them to be declarative statements.

I’ve talked for months about adding one more set of words to the list, and I knew I needed to add another “+” to the “25” arm after Jill and I marked 28 years of marriage this past summer. (When I die, I hope my arm is full of those plus signs.)

I wanted the new additions (again, alphabetical but out of order) to cap off the list, which is now midway down my forearm. The words were easy, but finding the inspiration to pull the trigger at a suitable time for the tattoo artist (who works in a shop just around the corner from our house) was tough.

In 2020, I added “be kind” on the Saturday the presidential election was called. This time, I finally set the appointment for last Wednesday, the morning after the polls closed. The additions to the list, I thought, would be applicable regardless of the outcome.

And they are. I think all of us should remind ourselves to “inspire” others, have “hope,” and bring “joy” to this world. And to use the words of Jason Isbell, one of my favorite songwriters, we need to face up to the things that scare us.

“be afraid. do it anyway.”